Sunday, November 25, 2012

"Everyone Who Belongs to the Truth Listens to My Voice"

Today's Gospel reading at Mass was another personal love letter to me from God.

Not many people would look at these verses as a love letter, especially given the fact that Jesus Christ is facing Pontius Pilate and trying to speak truth to him. In fact the Truth was standing right before Pilate and he was blind to it.

From John 18:33b-37

Pilate said to Jesus, "Are you the King of the Jews?" Jesus answered, "Do you say this on your own or have others told you about me?" Pilate answered, "I am not a Jew, am I? Your own nation and the chief priests handed you over to me. What have you done?" Jesus answered, "My kingdom does not belong to this world. If my kingdom did belong to this world, my attendants would be fighting to keep me from being handed over to the Jews. But as it is, my kingdom is not here." So Pilate said to him, "Then you are a king?" Jesus answered, "You say I am a king. For this I was born and for this I came into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who belongs to the truth listens to my voice."

The reason it is a love letter is because it reminds me that the Kingdom of God is not of this world and I really need to be reminded of that right now. I have been going through a lot of soul-searching regarding how much focus I've put on politics and the dawning realization that I fell into a belief that "a man" could change things.

Well, we do have a Man who did change things. He was born of a virgin and came to save the world from sin. He conquered sin and death to give us eternal life. He reigns with goodness, love, compassion, and justice. As such, He is the rightful King of our souls.

Today we celebrate the Solemnity of Christ the King. He is the ruler of a heavenly kingdom, and as followers of Him, we know that we will never feel as though this world is our home. The Truth lives here, but ultimately His home is in heaven and God willing, that is where we also will be someday.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Where Does My Help Come From?

A Song of Ascents. I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come? - Ps. 121:1 (RSV)

I, like many other Americans, have been doing a lot of soul-searching over the past few days. After a crushing defeat at the polls for Governor Romney and Congressman Paul Ryan, those of us who were looking to them as "the last stand" of sorts, were bitterly disappointed.

We thought things would turn out so differently. We thought that the large crowds at the Romney/Ryan rallies would prove to win the day on November 6. But for reasons that are a mystery to us, things did not turn out the way we planned.

I also was very disappointed in an overwhelming percentage of Catholic Hispanics who voted to re-elect President Obama. (Breitbart News, "Latino Catholics: Immigration, Not Religion Decided Vote") It is almost unfathomable to me that any Catholic could vote for Obama, especially after the heavy-handedness in requiring religious employers to pay for contraception in their health insurance. But they did.

However, all of this is, for the  most part, buckets of tears under the bridge.

We must now focus on what lies before us.

Today, as I drove to Mass, I was in prayer. All week I have been petitioning God for many things, mostly for the grace to accept His will. I believe with all my heart that if God wanted Mitt Romney to have become our president, it would have happened. So I am left to ponder the possible answers as to "why?"

I never wanted to live in an age where I could possibly be persecuted for my faith. I, like many of you, have enjoyed the freedoms this country has given to us, freedom that I don't take for granted. Today, Veteran's Day, I especially am reminded of all the brave men and women who have fought and died to preserve such freedom. But, perhaps we have taken our freedom for granted. Perhaps it is, as Thomas Jefferson said, "time to refresh the tree of liberty."

His quote often appears in patriotic blogs and articles, but I will give context to his quote, and the fuller text.

Thomas Jefferson had just receive the latest copy of the U.S. Constitution. He liked some of it. He didn't like other parts of it. From this letter, it sounded as though he wasn't keen on keeping a President in office for four years, but at least it wasn't for life.

What is interesting is his view that rebellion is a necessary thing in order to preserve freedom. I highlighted the most commonly quoted portion of this letter.
"I do not know whether it is to yourself or Mr. Adams I am to give my thanks for the copy of the new constitution. I beg leave through you to place them where due. It will be yet three weeks before I shall receive them from America. There are very good articles in it: and very bad. I do not know which preponderate. What we have lately read in the history of Holland, in the chapter on the Stadtholder, would have sufficed to set me against a Chief magistrate eligible for a long duration, if I had ever been disposed towards one: and what we have always read of the elections of Polish kings should have forever excluded the idea of one continuable for life. Wonderful is the effect of impudent and persevering lying. The British ministry have so long hired their gazetteers to repeat and model into every form lies about our being in anarchy, that the world has at length believed them, the English nation has believed them, the ministers themselves have come to believe them, and what is more wonderful, we have believed them ourselves. Yet where does this anarchy exist? Where did it ever exist, except in the single instance of Massachusets? And can history produce an instance of a rebellion so honourably conducted? I say nothing of it's motives. They were founded in ignorance, not wickedness. God forbid we should ever be 20. years without such a rebellion.[1] The people can not be all, and always, well informed. The part which is wrong will be discontented in proportion to the importance of the facts they misconceive. If they remain quiet under such misconceptions it is a lethargy, the forerunner of death to the public liberty. We have had 13. states independant 11. years. There has been one rebellion. That comes to one rebellion in a century and a half for each state. What country ever existed a century and a half without a rebellion? And what country can preserve it's liberties if their rulers are not warned from time to time that their people preserve the spirit of resistance? Let them take arms. The remedy is to set them right as to facts, pardon and pacify them. What signify a few lives lost in a century or two? The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it's natural manure. Our Convention has been too much impressed by the insurrection of Massachusets: and in the spur of the moment they are setting up a kite to keep the hen yard in order. I hope in god this article will be rectified before the new constitution is accepted." - Thomas Jefferson to William Stephens Smith, Paris, 13 Nov. 1787[2] (Source)

The day after the election, Glenn Beck said this:

"[God's] work and his glory is not for a presidential election. It’s for the salvation of all mankind. And that requires freedom. So his agenda is freedom, and we have esteemed it too lightly." (Source)

I thought that was a profound statement. God is still God. He's in charge, not us, and maybe we needed the results of this election to reminds us of that truth. I know I've already changed since Tuesday, November 6, 2012. I am reminded that ultimately, my security comes from God, not from any government. And those who know me would tell you I never depended upon the government anyway, but I did want to see an end to cultural relativism or at least a slight pressure on the brakes.

Alas, it looks like we're about to head over more than a fiscal cliff at breakneck speed. However, I do not think this needs to happen without Christians sounding the alarm. We still need to speak out against the culture of death. We still need to bear witness to the saving power of Jesus Christ and preach the Good News. No matter how dark the days may become, we cannot allow them to extinguish the light of hope that lives within us. In fact (and I know you're gritting your teeth as you realize what I'm about to say...), it was during the dark days of persecution that the Church grew in strength.

I have been convicted today to pray for our President and his administration much more often than I ever did. (which was next to "never.") I confess I have been filled with anger and resentment more than peace and love. I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit that this is not the way I am to conduct myself. I am to pray and trust in God. Much easier said than done, but that is what I am called to do.

I will close with the rest of Psalm 121, for it is a beautiful reminder of where our help comes from— not from any government, but from our Divine Creator, who knows all things and can do anything. I pray you also find peace through His grace.

My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved, he who keeps you will not slumber. Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand. The sun shall not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The LORD will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. The LORD will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and for evermore. 
- Ps. 121:2-8 (RSV)

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Catholics and Fame

This blog post most likely won't win me any popularity awards. But I've been observing something over the past four years that has puzzled me and I finally decided to write about it.

I remember when I used to attend non-denominational Christian conferences and met all the various people who had "ministries." Because I had a position of influence within a global ministry, I was often handed their business cards, subtly and at times overtly, being asked if there was any need for their ministry.

I worked within a ministry school, and for many of the students, the pinnacle of "success" was to have one's own ministry, traveling across the country to preach at a church and then dashing off to speak at some large Christian conference. It all left a bad taste in my mouth. Somehow, I suspected that this was not what Jesus had in mind when He said to go out into all the world and preach the gospel.

With the eager conference attendees who were promoting their ministries, there simply seemed to be too much ego involved. It was all about them. The ministries often featured their name, along with some type of Christian imagery like a lion, a flame of fire, or a dove. "Empowering" was a popular description.

Even when I was heavily involved with those non-denominational churches, I would frequently think back to my "Catholic days" and remember how low-key Catholics usually were when it came to serving others. There weren't obvious "ministries" because most Catholics just shouldered whatever service came their way without much fanfare. The work just needed to be done and they did it. Case closed.

Fast forward to today and my goodness, how things have changed.

I know the Internet has played a major part in this change. On one hand, I am thrilled to see Catholics involved with online Bible study and catechesis. But the dark side of the Internet is that it has elevated the desire of some to be famous. "Elevated" may still not be the word I'm searching for, but I do know that I've seen more Catholics online over the past few years seek recognition and fame. And to what purpose? Are we really reaching out to the lost with such pursuits? Or is it all an ego-stroke-fest that proves how clever we are?

I haven't spoken of this before because I know my words could be construed as an unfair judgement. After all, don't I have this blog and am I not enjoying the same exposure as the Catholics who seem bent on getting a book deal? Fair enough. I am, but will add a caveat: I have deliberately chosen not to pursue recognition. I had several occasions over the past three years where I met famous and influential Catholics. These were people who have a presence in the media. Although it was at first tempting to leverage those connections, something held me back.

Granted, at the time I yearned to share my story so other lapsed Catholics would consider returning home. But since I had already seen the "other side" of getting a wider audience to hear my message, I was convinced. That path may be for others but it is not for me.

I don't say such things lightly. In fact, this may be one of the most honest "confessions" I've shared. It is really tempting to spout out thoughts and ideas, to have people agree with you, and then start to follow you. It is tempting to encourage such admiration, turning it into a validation of my worth instead of looking to my heavenly Father, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit for how much I am loved.

It is tempting to think that just because I have a large following (which I really don't, but for argument's sake, let's say I had thousands and thousands...), then I'm right about everything I say.

Tempting, but wrong, and oh so dangerous for my soul.

When I returned to the Catholic Church, one website totally blew me away. It is Audio Sancto. I've mentioned it before, but will again restate my first impression of this beautiful website. I was shocked that such solid, delicious, "meat" was being served up online for FREE and without attribution.

If you've never been a member of a Protestant church, you have no idea how radical that is.

Any preacher or teacher worth their salt in a Protestant church would have been slapping a label on a CD containing such teachings and selling them as a boxed set in a New York minute. They would not be free. Some churches today are now charging "membership fees" for a person to listen to an audio interview or watch it on video.

This is completely shameful to me and reflects very poorly on the Church.

We are not to profit from the Gospel's message. It should never be seen as a way to make a living. (Except those whose vocation is Holy Orders.) Even St. Paul was a tent-maker and when he received money, it happened because he had let others know of his needs and the Church responded with love and generosity. He never sold his letters to others or any type of miracle. To do so would be to relegate our sacred beliefs to nothing more than an infomercial.

This steals the life from the transformative message of the Gospel. And speaking of life, there have been contentious debates from some Catholic blogs that have drained the life from the Church. Seeds of disunity have been sown and at a time when we cannot afford such division.

I feel like I have to add another caveat of "no I'm not perfect." It is rather silly to think that every time a brother or sister observes something in the Church that concerns them, they're immediately taken to task by some self-appointed holier-than-thou sort who tells them to sit down and shut up. Don't be judgmental. Take out the log in your own eye. How dare you speak out?

Well, I do dare. I have asked God for His grace more times than I can count. But I also realize that we need to be careful when it comes to jumping on the "fame" bandwagon. Getting contracts, our own book, or a TV or radio show may be a great thing if approached with humility and an attitude of service.

But when such developments cause one to become more egotistical, more contentious, and more divisive, it is time to step back and ask a hard question. Whom do you serve?

Asked and answered honestly might be the best thing we've ever done with our lives.

(P.S. The fact that I've not finished the book I intended to write for lapsed Catholics is a direct result of my inner conflict regarding this topic.)

Monday, June 4, 2012

The War on the Word "Religion"

A few days ago, I attended a family event. As I chatted with my nephew, I noticed he was wearing a t-shirt that simply said: Relationship Not Religion.


I've written before about why this bothers me. But it continues to bother me, primarily because I think the anti-religion tone is in essence, anti-Christianity. Now I know that sounds weird. Especially when you see Christians from non-denominational churches wearing such t-shirts or promoting videos like "Why I Hate Religion But Love Jesus."

There is an assumption with this position that the two (religion and relationship) are mutually exclusive. It's as though these Christians believe religion prevents relationship with God, or at the very least, hinders a fuller, richer relationship with God through His Son Jesus Christ. Either a person believes in "religion" (the inference being that religion is dry, regimented, and lifeless), or "relationship," which is preferable and eminently superior to religion since "relationship" infers intimacy, dynamic growth, and mutually beneficial rewards.

Yesterday, as I kneeled during the liturgy in the Traditional Latin Mass, my eyes glanced over to a life-sized Cross with the body of Jesus outstretched upon it. Again, my thoughts turned toward that t-shirt's message and Jesus Christ's message. Suddenly, it dawned on me.

Religion defines our relationship with God. Obedience to religious practices strengthens our relationship with God.

Think about it.

Jesus Christ was a Jew. He was born to Jewish parents and was raised as a Jew, following the Judaic tradition of the Law, which was defined in Exodus and Leviticus. When Jesus walked this earth, He said this, in what I consider one of the scariest scripture verses (emphasis mine):

Not every one who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. - Matt. 7:21(RSV)

What is the "will of my Father?"

The "will of my Father" was defined by Judaic law. If we go to the source, God made it clear to the Israelites how He wanted them to behave. He created standards, regulations, and laws for them to obey. That was considered doing the will of God.

So what has changed?

Many Christians believe that since Jesus Christ died on the cross, and rose again from the dead — that the grace that has been generously poured out upon us somehow releases us from the obligations of obeying God's precepts. So it doesn't matter so much if a person decides not to attend church because they "have a relationship" with God that they can nurture at home. This is as much a misunderstanding of the meaning of "grace" as it is the word "religion." Grace has been given to those who believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God who died for mankind's sins, but it does not remove the expectation from God to grow and mature as His sons and daughters in His Kingdom.

These expectations from God do not exist in a vacuum. We just celebrated Pentecost and rejoice that indeed, we've been given a "Paraclete," an advocate who helps us attain holiness: The Holy Spirit. And what does the Holy Spirit do? Convicts us. Teaches us. He helps keep us on the straight path of righteousness.

And what does the Holy Spirit use to do this?

Hmmm. Could it be that He uses religion? A set of institutionalized attitudes, beliefs, and practices?

Jesus spoke quite a bit about obedience. When He said only those doing the will of his Father would enter into heaven, then I want to know exactly what "doing the will of my Father" means.

I believe that Jesus Christ's relationship with His Father was defined by His religion. How could it be otherwise?

The revelation I had yesterday was this: Jesus expressed His love to God by keeping His commandments. And He asked us to keep them, too. 

If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. - John 15:10 (RSV)

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments."- John 14:15

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments. - 1 John 5:2   
For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome. - 1 John 5:3

Religion is our committed response to having a relationship with God. The two are not mutually exclusive. In fact, religion is a strong foundation for allowing me to know God and love Him. By understanding and obeying His statutes, by implementing that understanding in my adherence to a set of beliefs and practices that are consistent (and have been since the birth of the Church), then I am secure in knowing I am on the right path toward heaven.

The Latin root word for religion is said to be "religio," which means reverence and respect. It is derived from the word "religare," which means to tie out of the way, to bind fast, to moor. That word is derived from the Latin word "ligare," which means to bind, to fasten.

All of which tells me that religion binds us to God. It grounds us. It give us the strong foundation we need so that we don't chase after every fleeting worldly philosophy.

When someone says "Relationship Not Religion," it sounds good but is ultimately at risk for selfishness. Religion demands something from us. To a certain extent, so does relationship but relationship without principles ends up serving no one other than desires of an individual.

"Relationship Not Religion" veers dangerously close to relativism. How?

The assessment for how well a relationship is working depends on what?


Some couples who marry switch out the "to death do us part" for "You will be mine as long as love remains." Who is the arbiter of that one? The one who is loved (as long as it remains) or the one doing the loving (as long as it remains)?

It's all relative. We've already seen this when some Christians actually say something along these lines: "What may be a sin for you is not a sin for me." And then that's followed usually by a discussion on what this person's relationship is with God and that it's unique and different... yada, yada, yada. There are no standards to uphold because it's all relative.

Well. I think I've vented enough. I may touch upon this topic again, though, because I've seen it too many times. I think it is a dangerous belief and, not aligned with what we know of God. Of course God created man for relationship — first with Him and then with others. But to say that relationship is diametrically opposed to religion is wrong.

If Jesus honored religion by abiding by its practices, how can we not do the same?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

What I Love About Catholicism: The Maturity Model

Since returning to the Catholic Church, I often think about the differences between the Catholic Church and other churches. One of the differences (at least in my mind) is the mature faith the Catholic Church builds into her children.

The road toward adulthood from childhood is marked by milestones: the transition between believing in fairy tales and realizing they're not reality, becoming a teenager, our sixteenth birthday and learning how to drive, our first job, and so on.

Everyone remembers these milestones. Some are common in our culture such as celebrating a "sweet sixteen" birthday party or graduation. Other milestones may be rather ordinary to most people but important to that individual. I remember the first time I was in a sit-down restaurant with a friend (and not with my family), I felt like I had entered into another room of "adulthood."

Catholicism has many of these milestones. (I realize other denominations, such as the Lutheran church, have their milestones, too and only proves my point.) Milestones mark a journey and often define a pathway toward a destination.

Looking back on my time within the non-denominational church, I can see there were no such milestones and as a result, few ways to measure progress. Let's say you joined a non-denominational church. Apart from the annual appeal to give toward a new fund or the annual church picnic, what else is there? For the children, what "markers" help them understand that they are to spiritually develop from a child to an adult?

There aren't many.

I've mentioned before how the liturgical season imprints upon us the timeless truths of our Christian faith. I'd also say the Sacraments of the Church do the same thing, accompanied by the catechism, sacramentals, the study of our Church's history, and all the various extra Catholic groups associate with the Church.

What I'm trying to say is that with each of those expressions of our faith, there is a pathway toward maturity. Maturity happens when one is entrusted with responsibility and can fulfill its expectations. It is a process. Maturity is an interior journey.

Although non-denominational churches give responsibility to emerging leaders, the interior development is often missed. Many times, I saw responsibility given to someone simply because they just happened to be in the "right place" at the "right time." I've also seen responsibility given to those who were too immature in their faith to handle it well. As a result, they were the equivalent of an insecure teenager being put in charge of roomful of college students. The Goodyear Blimp had nothing on the size of their heads.

I am so thankful I was raised Catholic. There is a humility instilled in Catholicism that can often be overlooked by those unfamiliar with its doctrine and traditions. I now realize that it was the beautiful rhythm and milestones that helped shape me into a responsible, thinking adult.

Being Catholic is a combination of many things: solid teaching, spiritual formation, understanding one's responsibilities, practicing love, compassion, and forgiveness; to name a few. It is through Baptism, First Communion, Confirmation, Confession, and discovering your vocation, that maturity in the faith occurs. My fellow Catholic brothers and sisters are among the most grounded and mature people I've ever met.

Adulthood seems to get pushed back with every generation. When I watch movies that were made in the 1930's, I'm amazed how "old" a twenty-one year old acts. Compare this to the typical twenty-one year old who is still living at home today and playing video games. I've read that "adulthood" doesn't really happen now until one is in their thirties.

Thankfully, the Catholic Church continues to produce mature believers. I am grateful for such wise instruction and committed support. We really do have the best spiritual parents, around.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

National Offend a Feminist Week! Sunday: Happy Mother's Day!

Thanks to Robert Stacy McCain, we're having big fun with "National Offend a Feminist Week!"

Today is the last day of this week's festivities. I really wasn't sure if I was going to be able to post something original for seven straight days, but then said, "What am I thinking? We're talking feminism, here! Of course there's enough material out there! In fact, probably more than enough!"

I was right. I learned more about feminism and especially the link between Marxism and feminism. I think it's sad how these women allowed anger and bitterness to overcome their lives. I think it's doubly tragic that instead of getting the deep psycho-analysis they need, they instead try to brainwash other women to swallow the insanity. Trust me. Hating on men and conservative women isn't healthy or normal.

My previous entries:

Monday: My History With Feminism
Tuesday: Someone Got To Me Before the Feminists
Wednesday: Where Are the Men?
Thursday: Women Want to Get Married
Friday: I Happily Took My Husband's Name
Saturday: I Gladly Submit to My Husband


Happy Mother's Day!

This will be more of a short and sweet post.

Mothers hold our lives together. They meticulously weave their love around us, watching over us, comforting us when we skin our knees, encouraging us when we've had a bad day, challenging us to not give up, and celebrate our victories.

I really miss my mom.

Even though she's been gone for five years, her influence in my life is indelibly printed upon my heart and mind. I am extremely blessed to have had one of the most loving moms around. She taught me how to read. She taught me how to cook. She taught me how to love.

Mothers and daughters share a special bond. A daughter looks up to her mother as a model for how to behave. My mom was a great model.

She instructed me how to look my best. She stressed the importance of presentation, knowing that often people will judge you quickly by the way you look. I remember learning about make-up from her, still applying my own make-up the way she did hers.

My mother was feminine. She delighted in feminine things like pretty perfume bottles, handbags and shoes, jewelry, and of course, her weekly visit to the hair salon. I'll never forget how my father would argue about such a necessity but she stood her ground. Looking back, I can see that was one of the rare times she was able to simply sit and let someone else do something for her without feeling obligated to return the favor.

My mother was no shrinking violet. She had her own strength and wasn't afraid to speak her mind. She didn't crumple when difficulties came but instead met them head-on. Even when my father was traveling for business (and she was pretty much a single mom during most of the week), she expertly directed my brother and I toward our responsibilities. I never felt as though our discipline was "on vacation" during those times. There was a certain way she expected us to behave and if we didn't, we'd get into trouble.

When I think of how mothers affect the world, I think of how they first influence their children. Mothers are the primary caretakers of their little ones, no matter how much "life balance" attempts are made between a husband and wife. It is the mothers who first train their children, beginning with potty training and tapering off with showing her college son how to properly load a washing machine.

Mothers' prepare us for life. Real life. Not with a bunch of theory but with practical applications. They also teach us to think and care about others. They teach us to share and play nice with others. They teach us to not lose our temper but to give ourselves time to work through a knotty problem.

When you think of all the positive ways a mother influences her children — and then how that child grows into a responsible adult and influence the world, you can see why some feminists seek to destroy the nuclear family, why they insist the government can do a better job of raising a child than a mother. Who are they kidding? The government has a tough time as it is responding to national disasters, even with plans drafted by a battalion of experts.

Those of us who have loving mothers understand the power of multi-tasking while still somehow providing a hot dinner or getting us to school on time. A mother is a combination of doctor, judge, cook, cleaner, counselor, and oracle (to name a few).

Thank God for mothers. I really don't know what we'd do without them.

If you still have your mom around, give her a kiss and a hug from me and thank her for raising a kid who didn't turn out too badly, after all. Maybe she'll give you that last piece of pie.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

National Offend a Feminist Week! Saturday: I Gladly Submit to My Husband

Thanks to Robert Stacy McCain, we're having big fun with "National Offend a Feminist Week!" Today's post is really going to drive feminists nuts.

My previous entries:

Monday: My History With Feminism
Tuesday: Someone Got To Me Before the Feminists
Wednesday: Where Are the Men?
Thursday: Women Want to Get Married
Friday: I Happily Took My Husband's Name


Today's post is a doozy.

I'm going to go where few women travel. In fact, this is an area where few Christian women would travel because it's so controversial.

But, hey — what do I care, right? Controversy is what makes the world go 'round. Besides, it's a topic Christian women need to understand before having a knee-jerk reaction to it.

I am speaking of submission.

And boy howdy, talk about a bundle of dynamite for feminists.

Submission is a concept that immediately brings to their mind a caveman dragging his woman by the hair back into his cave, where he'll force her to scrub the walls and cook his brontosaurus medium well-done. And then after she's spent, he'll demand sex where he won't care if she enjoys it or not.

The trouble with that picture is that it gives a false image of submission. Plus the fact that it assumes the man is the instigator of submission. Actually, it is the choice of a woman, not the dictate of a man.

You can't "make" someone submit to you. If you do, it's called bullying and the other person has no choice. If done by force, it's coercion.

However, true submission is a sublime, beautiful gift that can only be understood through the prism of a relationship with God.

For Christian women, one of the key models of submission is the Blessed Virgin Mary. She was a young girl, unmarried, and suddenly called by God to carry into the world His Son. She was visited by an angel to soothe her fears and she responded with courage and faith with what is known as The Magnificat:
My soul doth magnify the Lord. And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour. Because he hath regarded the humility of his handmaid; for behold from henceforth all generations shall call me blessed. Because he that is mighty, hath done great things to me; and holy is his name. And his mercy is from generation unto generations, to them that fear him. He hath shewed might in his arm: he hath scattered the proud in the conceit of their heart. He hath put down the mighty from their seat, and hath exalted the humble. He hath filled the hungry with good things; and the rich he hath sent empty away. He hath received Israel his servant, being mindful of his mercy: As he spoke to our fathers, to Abraham and to his seed for ever. (Luke 1:46-55)

Humility is the predecessor of submission. It's tough to be proud and then submit to anything. Humility softens us and prepares us for those times when we're given the choice to either submit or not.

As I said before, submission is a gift. It is a gift to the one we submit to but also a gift to ourselves. The reason for this is because each time we make the choice to think of someone else's benefit instead of ours, we've walked in the same direction as Jesus Christ.

Some may think that submission in a marriage amounts to a husband telling his wife what to do and she does it. Although this may be true to a certain extent, I think of submission in much broader terms.

The Greek word for submission in the New Testament is hypotassō. The definition includes this: to yield to one's admonition and advice.

Some men unfortunately think submission is when a woman is simply to obey some command of theirs, without thought. These same men often use the scripture verses of Ephesians 5:22, 5:24, and Col. 3:18 as a justification for their own selfish desires. This is not what God intended when the word "submit" was used. In fact, in Ephesians 5:25, it says "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her..." (emphasis mine)

This is a sacrificial love, a love that seeks to serve — not order someone about, according to one's whims. Yes, wives are to trust their husbands but their husbands are also reminded that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

So what does submission look like?

Well, in my life, I am certainly a project in process. I am not a docile lady. At times, I can be downright cantankerous. However, I also seek to be pleasing to God. I'll give you a few examples of how I live out the calling of submission.

My husband recently bought a metal detector. He wanted to head out today to use it on a beach near a lake. I was still working on this post. He had to work overtime today and I knew when he'd come home, he'd most likely have metal-detecting on his mind. I was right.

Now, did I really want to go with him? Not particularly. However, it was a chance to enjoy the weather and spend some quality time with my husband. I chose to go and we had a fun time (Even if all we found were bits of aluminum foil, a young girl's hair barrette, and a piece of glass.).

Another example: I was asking for my husband's advice regarding a marketing question. I wanted to try one approach (which would have included driving to a store and asking people questions) but he thought it was better to set up an online poll. Although I saw the expediency of his idea, I still really wanted to do my idea. However, I viewed it as an opportunity to submit and I did. As it turned out, his way was just fine and I saved some gas.

Some might split hairs on these examples, thinking the first one wasn't really submission and the second one, just a tad more so than the first. To the naysayers, I'd simply shrug. The way I see it, submission is a personal journey for every woman and it's not going to look the same because not every woman has the same personality.

If a woman is meek and leans more toward people-pleasing behavior, then those two examples might not mean as much. But for someone like me, who usually believes that her way is the right way every time and after 39 years of being single, is used to doing whatever she wants, whenever she wants to do it — well, it's a big step in the right direction.

There have been times when I've held my tongue when debating things with my husband. Other times I've accepted what he's said without quarrel. And then there have been the few times when a decision has to be made and I've submitted to his choice.

All of these times have been opportunities to love my husband, respect him, and trust in God. These are not easy choices when we have a worldly ideology that tells women that it's just fine to do what we want without any consideration whatsoever toward our husbands. Not everything in my marriage has to be a battle and I am not in a war to win my position every time I come up against resistance.

Marriage has helped me grow because it's demanded I put aside my own selfishness. As I make the choices to submit in my own way, I feel a little less shackled by that selfishness and a little more freer to be God's channel of love toward my husband.

I don't expect feminists to understand this. They really can't. Feminism focuses so much on the individuality of the woman that there's no room to think of anyone else. And if you add to that a deep-seated resentment of men, then it makes it even more difficult.

Not everything has to be that difficult. Constant fighting and resistance expends a lot of creative energy that could be put to better use. Women are truly in the position of power within a marriage. Choose to fight a man every step of the way and life will be unpleasant, indeed.

But if a woman learns how to bend and yield on occasion, a marriage can be like heaven on earth.

Long ago, there was a controversial book written in the 60's, Fascinating Womanhood. Feminists hated it. The author, Helen Andelin, recommended to wives a bold strategy for "making their marriages a lifelong love affair": consider the feelings of their husbands.

She is very specific with her advice and millions (yes, millions) of women tested her theories and were surprised to find they worked! I highly recommend this book. It is full of wisdom. Many women were able to take a marriage that previously was on life support, and transformed it to a fully alive marriage once again. The advice is that solid.

Men and women are different. God created us that way and His commandments to the husband and wife are different because of our unique roles within His Kingdom. Something doesn't seem right when you see an extremely bossy woman and a meek, submissive man. There is something innate within a woman that knows a man is to have a certain level of assertiveness. And somehow women understand that men can only take so much bossiness before they've had it.

Submission is a delicate topic, and I'm afraid I've gone after it like a bull in a china closet. But I do hope for those who've read this far, who as soon as they heard the word "submission," shouted a hearty "Oh, hell no!..." at least will pray about it and be open to what God shows them.

You may be surprised. In fact, I know you will be. The fruits of this type of obedience to our Christian faith are numerous, and your life will hold a special kind of joy. The jadedness that has come with having to swim in this worldly muck will be removed and you'll find there is another way.

And, you'll find peace.

What's not to love?

Friday, May 11, 2012

National Offend a Feminist Week! Friday: I Happily Took My Husband's Name

Thanks to Robert Stacy McCain, we're having big fun with "National Offend a Feminist Week!" I almost forgot how fun it is to expose the evils of feminism.

Make sure to check out the trackbacks in the comment section. Other bloggers are also having a blast with NOFW.

My previous entries:

Monday: My History With Feminism
Tuesday: Someone Got To Me Before the Feminists
Wednesday: Where Are the Men?
Thursday: Women Want to Get Married


I love being married.

Not only do I feel fulfilled as a wife, my "personhood" (to use the parlance of feminism), has developed in a way that never could have happened as a single.

I have bloomed like a soft, pink rose...

(I know. I'm being ridiculously naughty.)

When I was single, I fought quite a bit with God. On one hand, I really did want to get married but on the other hand, I had to cope with the possibility that it wasn't God's will. I have been outside of God's will enough times to know that life is so much better within it. Laying our own desires before God, knowing that it could be a sacrifice and not a feast, is the one of the traits of our faith. Trust and obey.

Back in the 60's, feminists raged against marriage and they still do. Marlene Dixon, a feminist firebrand of those times, wanted to see the institution of marriage end. She said, "The institution of marriage is the chief vehicle for the perpetuation of the oppression of women; it is through the role of wife that the subjugation of women is maintained." (Wikipedia, but the link is broken in the reference area. However, I found more rainbows and lollipops from Dixon elsewhere, as seen below.)

Feminists hate marriage for a few reasons. First, they believe it subjugates a woman to the demands of her husband. Second, it's a contract that according to them, leaves women with the short end of the stick. (More housework, increased risk for domestic violence, isolation..) Third, it protects the nuclear family, which radical feminism seeks to destroy.

Did you know that marriage is linked to evil capitalism and subjugates woman by forcing her to reproduce all these little consumers to maintain "the system?" Now it becomes clearer why the Occupy Wall Street movement was hell-bent on harassing parents trying to take their little toddlers to school. (Note: the article I linked to with the "evil capitalism" sentence is a scary read. Not only does it rip into marriage and families, but it explains the insanely evil idea that population control is the only way to bring justice to a 'rotten' system.)

If you ever wanted to understand the link between Marxism and feminism, it is this: private property, according to Marx, was the foundation of the 'enslavement' of women. As long as a man held the deed to the house, a woman was bound to him. Marx found an eager audience with feminists by demonizing capitalism, claiming it oppressed women and forced them into an inescapable, unequal position within society.

Except now we live in an age where many women make more money than men. They buy their own property and can hardly be called "oppressed" by anyone.

For whatever reason, hard-core feminists can't see the forest for the trees.

Even as recently as 2009, when Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the best-seller Eat, Pray, Love, married (and then wrote a book about it: Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace With Marriage), some feminists felt she betrayed them.

Seriously. Wall Street Journal writer, Charlotte Hays, was so disappointed with Gilbert's decision to wed, that she penned these words (emphasis mine):

Such women rarely remain single—even if they profess to be feminists. Noting that Gloria Steinem advised women that they "should strive to become like the men they always wanted to marry," Ms. Gilbert adds: "If I am to truly become an autonomous woman, then I must take over that role of being my own guardian." But, confronted with Felipe, who calls her "darling" and seems to Ms. Gilbert a character from a Graham Greene novel, she succumbs with only a token struggle.

Succumbs? Token struggle? How many heaving-bosum books has Hays read? The condescension and belittling of marriage is in full battle regalia.

Here's what God says about marriage:
Then the LORD God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him." - Genesis 2:18 (RSV)

The operative word there is alone.

Throughout all my years of studying scripture, I have been deeply touched by God's desire that we know we are not alone. From the very beginning, He made it clear that Adam was built for relationship. First, with his Creator, and then with woman. All of us, whether married or unmarried, are built for relationship.

This is why men and women gravitate toward one another and seek a lifelong commitment. This is why love is such a big deal. Because we want to have a loving relationship with someone that will last the rest of our life.

Radical feminism, which I believe comes straight from the pit of hell, will do anything it can to destroy a loving relationship. They'll call it "oppressive" and says it subjugates women. So what is a woman to do? Embrace an ideology that oppresses them even more and makes them miserable? It would seem so.

And they do this with a passion, believing somehow that robbing a woman of her desire to love a man, to give of herself freely to him as an declaration of her commitment —is somehow vindicated because after all, it keeps a woman from being "used."

Well, I've got news for all those self-appointed love-destoyer, emotional-Nazis: Back off. Women love men and they love being a man's wife. They love taking his last name as their own, not because they feel like they're being branded but because they're being protected.

And yes, there are still many women around who love that they have a husband who cares for them enough that they'll watch over them. It has absolutely nothing to do with "ownership" but everything to do with John 15:13:
Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

Love is what strengthens us and brings out the beauty in life. Love elevates us to a higher place and makes us a better person. Love for a spouse nourishes us and allows us to become conduits of God's grace and mercy. There is nothing like loving your spouse when all is well and especially when all is not. It is when love is tested that it shines the brightest. And like gold being purified by fire, so is a marriage's strength purified by trials and difficulties.

That is something that all the activist rallies in the world cannot, and will not bring. And it is why radical feminism will never build anything worth having.

Links of interest:

Ms. Magazine: Who Wants to Marry a Feminist?

Ask Amy: A reader asks about the feminist's view of marriage

The Dangerous Rise of Sexual Politics

Marxist Feminism

Thursday, May 10, 2012

National Offend a Feminist Week! Thursday: Women Want to Get Married

Thanks to Robert Stacy McCain, we're having big fun with "National Offend a Feminist Week!" I am thoroughly enjoying myself.

Make sure to check out the trackbacks in the comment section. Other bloggers are also having a blast with NOFW.

My previous entries:



So I mentioned before that I was a relationship coach for single women over 40 who were looking for love. I did this for a little over three years.

I made the distinction of saying "looking for love" as opposed to "wanting a husband" because after a few workshops, I found that some women didn't want to get married but did want companionship.

However, the majority of the women who attended my workshops (and those I coached), wanted to get married.

I started this type of coaching back in 2004 because I knew how challenging it was to be an older woman in the dating arena. I didn't marry until I was 39 and realized years earlier that the dating landscape had changed drastically.

When I was in my twenties, there were plenty of single people and lots of activities to keep me busy. However, toward my late twenties and early thirties, I realized that the pool of eligible single men had dwindled significantly, many of them finding wives during those years. I was heavily involved with ministry work and assumed I'd meet a nice, respectable man at church. Huge assumption and completely wrong. I'm not sure what the experience is with other Christian women, but I will say I never got a date through my church.

When I turned 35, I knew I had to do something different.

I began to check the weekly newspapers for interesting events or groups to join. I made an effort to be "out and about" after my workday instead of heading home and becoming a couch potato. I joined the YMCA and started to exercise more. Although most of my attempts to meet eligible men fell through, I was starting to feel pretty good about myself. I was eating more nutritional foods, exercising regularly, and socializing more than I had since my college days.

At that time, the singles events I found seemed to attract more of an "over 50" crowd than over 35. I remember walking into one singles dance and immediately saw a crowd of men and women in their fifties and sixties. I turned around and walked out.

The point is, I kept trying. Once you're past 35, you have to start getting creative to meet men. That means employing the assistance of friends and family. You may be surprised how many of them thought I was happy being single. I explained that although I was content, I still wanted to find a husband. I asked them to keep me in mind if they met any single men who were around my age. They agreed.

It wasn't until I moved back to my hometown that things started to happen. I joined an online writing community and met an interesting man. However, he lived in the state of Washington and I was in Ohio. I joined a cycling club and met more men.

Then I visited an online Christian chat room, although I viewed it as a harmless diversion just before I headed to bed. Lo and behold, that is how I met my husband.

We met through the chat room, exchanged email addresses, and then began a correspondence that lasted a little over one month before we finally decided to meet. I was already half-way in love with him but after we met, I knew for sure. We were married four months later. (And just celebrated our tenth anniversary last December, so we've endured!)

But back to "Offend a Feminist Week."

I wanted to give a little backstory to my own history regarding dating and being very clear with my friends and family that I wanted to get married.

It seems that many women are almost embarrassed to admit this — that they want to get married.

And as usual, I blame feminism for it.

When I was giving my workshop, "5 Ways to Find a Husband After 40," I was contacted by a local library. Would I be interested in joining their fall program by offering the workshop for them?  I said I'd be delighted.

A few weeks later, I received a phone call. The program director nervously told me that she had to "disinvite me."

"Oh?" I said. "May I ask why?"

"Well," she slowly said. "The board rejected the workshop."

I was surprised. They only had the title to reject since I didn't share the details of the presentation with anyone. It wasn't so much that it was a secret, it just was that no one asked for the content. I believe the title was pretty self-explanatory.

As it turned out, the director went on to say that in all the 10+ years she had organized the speakers, she had never had an issue with the board regarding any of them. I suspected something and decided to have a little fun.

"So, was it only one person who objected?" I asked. It was. A woman.

"Is this woman by chance, single?" The director answered yes. I asked if she happened to lean toward feminism.

The director at this point was chuckling. "Not only is she a feminist, but she's a lesbian. In her words, after I announced the title at the meeting, this woman huffed and said, 'No way will we offer such a presentation in this library! The title in itself is offensive!'"

I then told the director that if that was the case, then it was amazing this woman wasn't offended by the library itself, since the section on relationships were filled with books on finding love and getting married!

I was annoyed by the whole thing but at the time, toward the beginning of my coaching business, so I didn't want to start off on the wrong foot by suing someone. But I could have.

What I explained to the director, and to anyone who had questions about what I did during these workshops, was that women had the choice to attend them and if they wanted to get married, I wanted to help. I wasn't holding a gun to anyone's head. And besides, wasn't it the feminists who said they wanted women to have "choices?" And if a woman chose marriage, wasn't that a valid choice?

Apparently not.

This is the problem women like me have with feminism. It claims to be about choice but choose a path that feminists don't agree with and you'll suffer their scorn. I'll never forget watching a film which had the main character sitting with a group of her career-focused friends. She just had a baby. When asked by her friends when she planned on returning to her job, she confessed she wasn't, and instead she would be staying home full-time with her new baby. The icy looks exchanged spoke volumes. The nerve of a "modern" woman choosing to stay home with her kid!

Some of the women who came to my workshops actually seemed apologetic and slightly ashamed for having a desire to be married. It was almost as if they thought they had let their team down. I spent time emphasizing the fact that it was just fine if a woman wanted to remain single but just as fine if she wanted to get married. The important thing, I said, was knowing what you really wanted. (I counseled Christian women a little differently, but overall tried to help women not feel guilty if they really wanted to be married.)

This exposes a weakness in feminism's argument. You can't tell women that feminism is all about having choices but then take away some of those choices. Nor is it fair to judge one choice as more important than another. Many women want to get married. Many of them want to raise a family. Just because a woman wants that does not make her stupid, oppressed, ignorant, a slave to men's needs, or intellectually dishonest. It simply makes her authentic.

This condescension exhibited by women toward women for wanting something that has existed for thousands of years is laughable if they weren't so doggone serious. Radical feminists think marriage is an old cultural tradition that places women in bondage. But as I said, there are many women who would like nothing more than to meet a wonderful man, fall in love, and get married.

I suspect there are some women who fell in with feminism and lived their lives as unmarried career women for many, many years. Suddenly, they wake up and realize they're fifty-years old and most single men around their age are on their second marriage to a women at least ten years younger. I wouldn't be surprised if they felt as though they had been duped.

Not everyone is called to be married. Catholics believe it is a vocation and in the Church, singlehood is just as valid of a calling. But for those of us who follow Jesus Christ, we are expected to pray and ask God what His will would be for our lives.

Because when you get right down to it. choices made separate from God won't ever bring joy. This perhaps is at the heart of why I so loathe feminism. It is a direct rejection of God's role in a woman's life. As a woman of faith, I am called to trust God. There were many years during my twenties that I wanted to be married but it was not to be. I had to come to grips with trusting in God for His timing for marriage, and also accept the possibility that He was calling me to live a single's life.

I've mentioned this before on this blog but will share the story again:

When I was in Charlotte, North Carolina, attending a ministry school, I had a revelation. I don't say that lightly, because as far as I'm concerned, a revelation is when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that what just entered your mind was not from you but came from above.

I was driving to class and my mind was drifting. Suddenly, I opened my mouth and this sentence came out: "Feminism is women's attempt to gain security apart from God."

Simple. Profound. And it made perfect sense.

Feminists expend a great deal of energy trying to convince people they're worth something. that their ideas are important or they're capable of great accomplishments. Why is this so important?

Because these same women feel unappreciated, disrespected, or minimized in some way. But guess what? They're looking for validation from the world.

Once I started to go deep in my relationship with God and find my validation through Him, everything in my life changed. I found my security, my strength, and my sense of worth through Him.

That is why Christianity is so dangerous and why radicals throughout the world seek to destroy it.

Because it triumphs over the world.

And feminists absolutely, completely, and with a pure, driven passion — hate it.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

National Offend a Feminist Week! Wednesday: Where Are the Men?

As mentioned before, National Offend a Feminist Week is the brainchild of Robert Stacy McCain, who started this "week" as a joke. He also writes some pretty good commentary about the political scene.  

Monday's contribution is here.
Tuesday's is here.

Today's contribution to NOFW is below.

"Where are all the men?" My twentysomething cousin asked plaintively. We had just finished our Christmas dinner and she was in the midst of telling me about a new man she had met at a yoga retreat. (I know.)

My cousin is a very sweet young woman. She is incredibly warm, giving, and compassionate. However, she confided in me that she was having trouble meeting "responsible men."

"Responsible men?" I asked with a slight frown. "Can you elaborate?"

"Oh, you know. Guys who have a dependable job and can pay their bills. Guys who know how to take care of life's usual responsibilities as an adult. Guys who can take charge every once in awhile instead of expecting me to make all the decisions."

"Ah," I said. "You want a real man. Well, you can blame feminism for this."

She didn't completely understand my answer and I tried to explain it as best I could; considering the fact I was talking to a woman who grew up around boys who had already been emasculated by the time they were seven years old. Or at least heavily mocked for being a "stupid jock" if they acted like a man.

I most definitely blame feminism for what has happened to our men.

Years ago, Susan Faludi (no stranger to feminism, herself), wrote a book called Stiffed: The Betrayal of the American Man. From Amazon's book description (emphasis mine):

One of the most talked-about books of last year, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author of Backlash now explores the collapse of traditional masculinity that has left men feeling betrayed.  
... As traditional masculinity continues to collapse, the once-valued male attributes of craft, loyalty, and social utility are no longer honored, much less rewarded. Faludi's journey through the modern masculine landscape takes her into the lives of individual men whose accounts reveal the heart of the male dilemma. Stiffed brings us into the world of industrial workers, sports fans, combat veterans, evangelical husbands, militiamen, astronauts, and troubled "bad" boys— whose sense that they've lost their skills, jobs, civic roles, wives, teams, and a secure future is only one symptom of a larger and historic betrayal.
This is the result of feminism hijacking the education system and punishing boys for being boys. This is the fruit from the "All Men Are Pigs" programming on TV. This is what happens when contraception was introduced into society, ostensibly to bring about a "sexual revolution" but instead destroyed the role of man as the provider.

After all, if you have a woman who willingly has sex without the commitment of marriage, then why would you feel the need to protect her much less provide for her? Add the fact that many women will nearly rip a man's head off if he even so much as hints that she needs help.

Is it any wonder men take the safer route and simply plant themselves on the couch, scarfing down Nacho-flavored Doritos and forfeits any serious decision-making? After all, it's been pounded into his head since birth that he really doesn't have any idea what he's doing. And if he tries to do something (It could be anything. Like loading a dishwasher.), it most certainly is wrong.

This is the bitter fruit of feminism.

Not only did it ruin women, it ruined women's natural desire to admire and respect men for the awesome creatures that they are. Just about any red-blooded woman (apart from the humorless 60's crowd) will find herself drawn to a man who knows his worth and isn't afraid to speak his mind. Women still love what I call "real men," although far too many younger men have had the "realness" beaten out of them.

You know a real man when you see one. He's usually the one who gets out of bed at midnight to drive to his girlfriend's broken-down car on the side of the highway. He's the one who sends steely glares toward any troublemakers before they try anything. He's the one who courteously helps a woman with a large load of boxes and brushes off her exuberant words of appreciation by saying, "No problem. Have a good one."

I've been around plenty of men like that and I adore them. I also give thanks to God for giving me one as my husband. You know how he won my heart?

It was during our second date. We were attending the annual Labor Day fireworks show in Cincinnati. This event draws thousands of people to the riverfront each year. The fireworks are simply breathtaking and many event-goers are known for setting up camp early in the morning just to get a good seat. Many families attend, but there are also the usual assortment of seedier types who arrive half-drunk and proceed to get drunker with every hour.

My husband, his friend, and I were sitting on a blanket, enjoying the weather and festivities. Suddenly, I got up and announced I was headed toward the restrooms. My future husband rose to his feet.

"Oh!" I said innocently, "Do you need to visit the restrooms, too?"

He smiled. "No, but I'll accompany you. There's no way I'll let you go through a crowd like this unescorted."

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Never, and I mean never, had I experienced a man so concerned with my safety. Up to that point, I had dated either two types of men: sarcastic self-absorbed or men who had their backbone surgically removed. The kind of man I term a "real man" seemed to trot happily after the blond Barbie-doll types but I was no Barbie-doll.

My future husband then gallantly offered his arm and away we went. I never felt so valued as a woman as I did in that moment.

This is what feminism has tried to steal and damn near succeeded.

There are still men like this. They many not be as common as they were in the fifties, but they exist. And if I could truly speak from my heart to my beautiful cousin, this is what I'd like to say:

"Praise men. Praise them for all the good they bring into the world. Thank them for helping you. Notice all the ways they try to please you and then make a big deal out of it like there's no tomorrow. Admire them and bat those big baby blues when they help you carry something twice your size. Murmur that you wouldn't know what you would have done without them. Look for ways to make them feel as though they're not irrelevant. Focus on their accomplishments. And for the love of pete, if they load the dishwasher wrong, so what? Thank them for helping out. 
Quit micro-managing them and appreciate them for all their glorious maleness. Remember they are not a "do-it-yourself" project. Cherish the fact that men are men, not women, and when your back is up against the wall, you'll need a real man to come alongside you — not Judy your BBF. Love men and recognize that without them, we'd be completely and utterly bored and lonely. 
Oh, and one more thing. It wouldn't hurt to dress up a little and leave the sweatpants at home." 

Guys like that kind of stuff.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

National Offend a Feminist Week! Tuesday: Someone Got to Me Before the Feminists

As mentioned before, National Offend a Feminist Week is the brainchild of Robert Stacy McCain, who not only is wickedly smart, but funny. Smart, funny writing isn't as easy to find as you might think, so make sure to check out his blog. And if you hang around long enough, you'll most likely be asked to "hit the freakin' tip jar!" I mean, this is the type of guy who actually believes a journalist ought to go out and interview people instead of Googling them.

What's not to love?


Yesterday I gave you a little background about my history with feminism. But guess who got to me before the feminists?

Phyllis Schlafly.

Yep. You got it. The woman who single-handedly kept the ERA from being amended to the Constitution also happened to be the author of a book that was featured on the top ledge of a bookcase in my high school library. What is ironic is that my all-girls Catholic high school had a strong contingent of "progressive" teachers. The fact that a Schlafly book existed in the library (let alone being so prominently displayed), was in itself a minor miracle.

But the title grabbed me, The Power of the Positive Woman, and I grabbed the book. I was sixteen years old and immediately developed a girl-crush on Schlafly. Here was a woman I could relate to: strong, smart, talented, and not afraid of her own femininity. I was impressed to learn that Schlafly attended the Washington University School of Law and earned her J.D. in 1978. This in itself was quite an accomplishment. Schlafly claimed that no special amendment was needed to open any doors for her. She created her own opportunities and sailed ahead on her own steam, thank you very much.

For that, I instantly fell in love with her.

And I was about to find out something extraordinary. As a young woman developing my own ideas about my capabilities, strengths, and talents — I found it rather astonishing that many feminists were so quick to lean on the government to create their destinies. I mean, wasn't the whole point of feminism to say that a woman was strong and able to do pretty much whatever she put her mind to do? If that was the case, then why the need to fuss around with the Constitution?

It didn't make sense to me. And even though I was thoroughly wet behind the ears, something inside told me to listen well to Schlafly.

I can't remember everything about that book, but what I do remember is the strong sense of personal responsibility it instilled in me. Schlafly's words were actually further proof of what my parents were already teaching me: Don't expect the world to give you anything. There is no such thing as a free lunch. Lazy people don't eat.

You get the point.

I learned a wonderful thing as I heard those admonitions from my parents and then read supporting opinions in books like Schlafly's. The wonderful thing was that, indeed, I was the captain of my own destiny. Not the government. Not a bunch of activists who claimed they were "fighting" for my rights.


This is something that intimidates feminists. They cannot believe that all of the desires of the early feminists have been achieved. Women today can literally do anything. In fact, they often can do more than men. For example, watch a young girl insist that she be allowed to try out for an all-male sports team. Of course everyone will make sure she has that opportunity.

But if a boy tries out for an all-girls sports team? Well, that's a different story. He's not allowed because after all, he might be better than most of the girls.

Silly attempts to equalize sports is pretty much all the feminists have left.

Women can get whatever job they want, and at times, they don't even have to be the most qualified candidate. Men no longer sexually harass them at work. After watching a few episodes of Mad Men, it was evident that women had to fight off their own co-workers to be able to get work done. Even then, many times the men would steal their ideas and call them their own.

But that doesn't happen as often anymore, and most men who act like that are mocked if not reprimanded by H.R. No one wants to be That Guy who was slapped on the wrist for being a little too cozy with his hands.

Yes, women in the sixties worked hard to be taken seriously. I'd still say there are some situations where a woman still has to do this. But more than anything, I look at the opportunities that we have as women (especially women in the United States) and am deeply grateful for such bounty.

When I consider the woman I've become (highly opinionated, feisty, and no one's doormat), I realize that my development came from a variety of sources. First, God gets most of the credit. If I hadn't spent an important phase of my life begging Him for wisdom, I wouldn't be even a fraction of the woman I am today.

Secondly, I credit God for answering my prayers when I made a simple request of Him on an ongoing basis: "Please, God. Make me the woman You want me to be. Help me understand what You had in mind when You created a woman." And answer me, He did. I am by no means perfect, but I know who I was when I was twenty and who I am now. Any improvements belong to Him.

It was God who gave me the firm understanding that women are His way of civilizing the world. It is women who bring the "soft touch" to this challenging life. Women create a nurturing home, which brings life to the world in more ways than one. Women shape the lives of their children, encouraging them to believe in themselves. Women help build self-esteem in their children, present when her offspring fall down but urging them to rise and start again.

Women rock this world.

And I say this with all the love and pride in my heart toward being a woman and without stealing one bolt of thunder from men — for without men, we'd be hosed. So thank God for men, too! But women have a very special role and I feel that too often, they forget about that when they focus on trying to be a man. Let the men be men, I say. (And catch the mice, lift the heavy furniture, and provide all the stability we women so crave..)

I learned at an early age that I simply had to believe in myself in order to get something done. A fierce sense of independence was lit in me when I read Phyllis Schlafly. And that light has never gone out.

So by the time I stepped into that feminist bookstore back in 1981, I already had a full artillery of my own sense of power.

Those feminists never had a chance with me.

Monday, May 7, 2012

National Offend a Feminist Week! Monday: My History With Feminism

Some who stumble upon this dusty little blog may wonder, what is National Offend a Feminist Week and how did it start?

Well, it begins with a brilliant reporter named Robert Stacy McCain.

You see, McCain started this "celebratory week" of tweaking feminists back in 2009. It's all in fun, but also a great excuse to focus on why many of us hate feminism. And by "us," I'm referring mostly to women. Because we absolutely hate the fact that so many feminists want to lop all women together in supporting the most destructive ideology ever created since the dawn of time. No wonder Marxists love them. Angry, jealous, bitter misery loves company.

And so, I'm going to do something I've never done before with this blog.

I'm going to write an entry every day this week about why feminism sucks.

Yep. I'm not pulling punches and at times it may even get down and dirty. But what do I care? No one is sponsoring me so if anyone has an issue with what I say, they can boycott Blogger. (Take that, Google!)

But first, a little background.

I don't write for any large publications. I don't attend glamorous blogger conferences where everyone knows who I am and I certainly am not invited to be part of any panel. I'm a regular woman who has experienced (and observed) the detrimental effect feminism has had on our women, our men, our families, communities, cities, states, and nation. (And Hillary Clinton made sure the poison was pumped into the world.)

I didn't always hate feminism. In fact, when I was twenty, I started to get pulled into the whole "womyn" scene. (Or "wimmin," "wymyn," "wimyn," take your pick. They hate men so much that they cannot abide having the letters "m-a-n" in a word associated with them.)

In 1982, I started to frequent a feminist bookstore. I was originally drawn to it because I believed in the power of women, their creativity, and the thought they should get paid every bit as much as a man if they were doing the same job. I have a strong sense of fairness that was instilled in me by a set of parents who taught me the value of hard work and productivity. I reasoned that if I worked hard, then daggonit, I deserved to be compensated with the same salary as a man.

So in my eyes, pursuing feminism seemed... well, fair.

The first thing I noticed when I started to read feminist books was their quick demonization of two things: men and the Bible. I found that odd since I consider other religions much more oppressive toward women than Christianity. So that was one red flag. As for the "Men Are Pigs" attitude, I didn't really feel that way. Sure, I had met my share of jerks, but to paint all men as being evil was over-the-top. If women didn't like being objectified by men, then why would women use the same tactic and objectify men?

I was about to get an up-close-and-personal view of the War On Men.

In fact, that may be the theme I'll go for this week. Not sure, yet. But that's an accurate title for what I experienced as I explored feminism.

Feminism is destructive. In order to gain power, they have to destroy what they see as the status quo. And to feminists, the status quo is marriage and motherhood. These two societal institutions are also linked to Christianity, so of course, that has to be destroyed, too. All under the guise of "freeing" women from their chains of oppression. (Which reminds me: when I gave dating workshops for single women over 40 who were looking for love -- they would have done anything to have been bound in those chains. But that's another story.)


I read a bunch of books. I attended feminist workshops and events. And I began to notice something odd.

These women weren't happy.

I mean, really. They weren't one bit happy. They were so obsessed about hating men, hating marriage, hating motherhood, and hating men (Did I say that one already? It really was a sandwich-cookie of hate.  They hated everything but it began and ended with men.), that they were heavy with it. It was like a fog that surrounded them, all that hate.

Did I ever hear a light-hearted giggle from among them? Nope. And rarely a smile, either.

In fact, I've noticed that, ahem... a certain religion (In fact, I think it has something to do with peace), also doesn't have a sense of humor. From what I've heard, neither did the Nazi's.

Must be a trait of fascism or something.

Back to my observations: Everything I read and observed was just So Doggone Serious that if you even tried to crack a joke, you'd be accused of not taking The Struggle seriously enough. At the time, I was trying to find books about Christianity and feminism. This was in the early 80's, so the pickings were mighty slim, thank God. Because if there were more books about "Christian feminism" then I could have ended up writing for some feminist blog and would have been in the Catholic Church at this point demanding that women be ordained as priests. *shiver*

Feminists don't build bridges. They burn them. They don't create. They destroy. I'm a keen observer of people and I quickly surmised that feminism had morphed into this hydra-headed monster of a screeching banshee. While feminism had started as way for women to be treated equally, they now were treating those who did not agree with them with equal contempt. Suffice it to say I thought it was a real drag and really didn't want to have a beer with such humorless creatures.

So after a lot of Bible study and private prayer, I got the message loud and clear that this was not the path God wanted me on. And so I left it.

More tomorrow.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Chaos Is Infantile, Order Is Mature

Chaos is infantile. Order is mature.

Last night, those two concepts filled my mind.

It's been eons since I've last posted. It's not that I haven't had any thoughts about being Catholic. I have. Many, in fact. But the thoughts have been overrun by the overwhelming psychic sucker-punches our culture is currently receiving. By "psychic," I don't mean "Stella the Psychic." I mean the cultural mores that define our frame of mind, and these mores have been crumbling so quickly that it has done two things: 1) shocked and terrified those who are paying attention or 2) caused those who do see to deny it and focus on other things.

Suffice it to say, I see. I see things very, very clearly.

Which of course, drives me even deeper into my faith. The only way I can go on, and still cling to my dreams (of which I still have many), is to believe and trust in God. Perhaps more than ever, I am unspeakably grateful that I am Catholic. I cannot even imagine being an evangelical and being able to handle this. I certainly don't want to offend my evangelical brothers and sisters with that comment, but here's the context: Catholicism has trained her sons and daughters from a very early age that martyrdom exists, hardship and suffering exist -- and all of it is a part and parcel of our faith. Jesus said the world hated Him and would hate His followers. Somehow that piece of truth has gotten misplaced or forgotten in the midst of building churches that have a food court.

We are witnessing a global effort to bring chaos so that "something else" will be ushered in. The "something else" is assumed by many Christians to be a one-world government. I believe communism and Marxism is a part of it because of all the elements already existing in many of the protests we've seen.

I just read today that student protests are happening in Chile. It's everywhere. So think of this: How is it that the same "protests" are popping up all over the world, at the same time? Does this not prove there is a larger agenda at work? That there are powerful people who have carefully coordinated these protests?

Which leads me to what I was thinking about last night.

Chaos is infantile. It is the toddler who throws food on the floor because it gets an immediate response. The toddler doesn't know any better but will be taught that it isn't a good thing to throw food on the floor. And the toddler will learn as she grows up that throwing things when one is angry is childish.

Chaos is the sloppy room a teenager live in, insisting that it's perfectly acceptable to her to live in filth. And generally the teenager's parents reprimand her and encourage her to clean up her room.

Chaos should be at the bottom rung of civilized society. It is a trait of babies, toddlers, and teenagers. But then they all should step up to the next level of development, which is order.

Order is mature. Order is being trained by your parents that choices have consequences, practice makes perfect, and keeping one's room organized means you'll find your hairbrush when you need it.

Order brings comfort. I thought of this one day when after my husband left early in the morning for work, I straightened the bed sheets and cover, and then slipped underneath for a little more sleep. As I drifted off blissfully, I sighed and thought, "Order brings comfort." For me, this is so true and I imagine it is for most people. When my home is in order, when my life is in order, I relax. Order is the opposite of chaos.

Now think of God and what He created.

A beautiful planet in which order abounds. There are scientific processes that allow for life. There is an order to His design. Science has studied the patterns of nature and can predict the way chemicals interact with one another precisely because there is order. There are some things that will never change, like gravity and our need for oxygen.

Nature is often chaotic, but even then we can predict certain developments with a fair amount of accuracy. Technology continues to aid us in pinpointing exactly how occurrence "A" will affect "B." Order reigns.

But I look at these two concepts and apply them to what is happening to our society in the U.S. today. And I admit it stuns me. There is a systematic effort to deconstruct our current way of life, the moral underpinnings of our society, and our understanding of right and wrong. There is a concentrated mission to bring about chaos -- to destroy what has worked and what is good. The "good" is now hated, mocked, and marked for elimination because it represents a moral judgement.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

What is happening here in the United States is happening throughout the world. The intentions, which I will call evil (for that is its true nature), comes straight from the pit of hell. It is the desire to destroy God's creation and kill His sons and daughters. The same evil existed over 2000 years ago when Jesus Christ was crucified.

Except we know how that turned out. Death was defeated. The punishment for sin, fulfilled. And a new life with God was born. All because of the great grace God has poured out on the human race. The desire the Evil One had for bringing chaos, death, and destruction was shut down in a huge way; in a way that no words could ever describe.

But the Evil One has not given up. Even though he was defeated by the evidence of an empty tomb, he has continued to pursue souls, intent upon dragging them to the pit of hell. Chaos is his calling card.

I try to keep all of this in perspective. When I get fearful, I'm more likely to veer into a chaotic state, myself. It's easy to allow the current events of the day to dictate our emotions. But don't allow it. Don't allow the chaos to win.

God is a God of order and love. Of grace and forgiveness, wisdom and judgement. As I place my trust in Him, I am at peace. His divine order reminds me that there is a higher purpose to all things. And that this higher purpose is meant to both glorify Him and to lift me above my sin into holiness.

I am deeply thankful for and fully embrace His divine order.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Catholics, Conscience, and Catholic Healthcare

1777 Moral conscience, (Rom. 2:14-16) present at the heart of the person, enjoins him at the appropriate moment to do good and to avoid evil. It also judges particular choices, approving those that are good and denouncing those that are evil.(Rom. 1:32) It bears witness to the authority of truth in reference to the supreme Good to which the human person is drawn, and it welcomes the commandments. When he listens to his conscience, the prudent man can hear God speaking. (CCC Part Three, Life in Christ: Article 6: Moral Conscience: I: The Judgement of Conscience)

I remember when I was younger, becoming aware of my conscience. It told me when I did something wrong, such as lying. My parents brought me up to know what was good and what was bad. (Evil was a concept I would learn about later in life.) However, I realized eventually how important our consciences were in the vast scheme of societal cohesion. When you have a society that understands it is wrong to lie, cheat, steal, and murder (all condemned by God), then you have a society that is rewarded with peace and security.

But things have changed.

Over time, there has been a systematic attack on morality. Everything from featuring more sex and violence in movies to the insidious statements from the "open-minded," who say, "What is true for you is not true for me." All of this has shifted morality into a gray, muddled area where clarity is nothing more than a distant memory, if even that.

When I was younger, it was clear what was right and what was wrong. My parents taught it, the schools enforced it, and the entertainment industry supported it. Today, most of that is gone. Instead we have confused parents, cowardly schools, and corrupt entertainment. Is it any wonder we now have young people who do what they think is right in their own eyes, not realizing they have no standard to guide them?

I am reminded of these verses (emphasis mine):
The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. (1 Tim. 4: 1,2 NIV)

Our consciences can be "seared" or calloused from a lack of awareness and a devotion to God and His precepts. If we allow the world to dictate our morals (or lack thereof), then we are doomed to a life of emptiness and despair. There is no gray area when it comes to God's directives for our lives. His Word brings truth, light, and life. Straying from Him only leads to darkness.

And that's where we are, right now. Darkness.

To think that our sitting President of the United States would tell the Catholic Church to violate their conscience in order to comply with questionable legislation regarding healthcare is stunning. But his administration has done just that.

I am ashamed that Kathleen Sebelius, the current Secretary of Human and Health Services, is a Catholic from Cincinnati, Ohio. She has brought shame on Cincinnati, Summit Country Day School, Ohio, and the rest of our country for promoting what is truly a violation of conscience for American Catholics. The fact that she identifies herself as a Catholic only adds more pain.

From the Catholic Herald U.K. (emphasis from article):

Obama’s health secretary has now issued a ruling: that under his administration’s Health Care Act not only must any provider of health care be prepared to supply artificial contraception (including drugs which, though labelled contraceptive, are in fact abortifacient) but that that definitely includes Catholics (for the CNS story, see here):

( – Cardinal Donald Wuerl, head of the Catholic archdiocese of Washington, DC, issued a warning last week against the implementation of an Obamacare regulation that would place many Catholic employers in an “untenable position” by requiring all health care plans to cover sterilization and abortion-inducing contraceptives, in violation of religious liberty and particularly Catholic moral teaching.

His warning coincided with a full-page ad by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB), which said the regulation, set to start on Aug. 1, 2012, could “severely curtail” Catholic health care providers.

Catholic institutions account for 12.7 percent of the nation’s hospitals, according to the 2009 American Hospital Association Annual Survey, with more than 5.6 million patients admitted to Catholic hospitals in a one-year period. An additional 1,400 long-term care and other Catholic health facilities are present in all 50 states, according to the Catholic Health Association of the United States. Also, there are about 70 million Catholics in the United States.

It makes me wonder what the 54% of Catholics who voted for Obama are now thinking.

Do they have a conscience that has not been seared? Is there still a chance the Holy Spirit will revive their consciences and give them a tender heart toward the things of God? Is there any hope that they will turn away from the world, their allegiance to a political party that is clearly (at this point) anti-Catholic and rise together in union with other Catholics who rightfully condemn this act?

It is my deepest hope that yes, they will do this. Now is not the time to quibble about partisan differences. Now is the time not only for Catholics to come together as one, but for all Christians in our great country to rise up and make their voices heard.

As Chuck Colson astutely observed in his profound article, "First It Was the Catholics" (emphasis mine):

Folks, I’ve been warning for more than a year now that the Administration is constricting religious liberty bit by bit. It has abandoned any defense of traditional marriage. It is promoting gay rights abroad at the expense of religious rights. And I’ve documented that the Administration, beginning with Secretary of State Clinton, has intentionally used the phrase “freedom of worship” instead of “freedom of religion,” implying that one’s faith is a private matter — and that exercising that faith in public is not a protected right.

Well, if the Administration’s latest move isn’t proof of that, I don’t know what will be.

Now, to all my evangelical brethren who may be wondering why I’m making so much of this — after all, the vast majority of evangelicals don’t have a problem with contraception — I will say this: Which of our religious convictions will we be forced to abandon one day? Will our religiously affiliated groups be forced to hire people who oppose our faith? Will the government force a curriculum upon our schools and homeschoolers? Just a few years ago these possibilities seemed crazy. Now, they seem very real.

We must stand and fight against such a blatant attack on our freedom of religion in our country. Refusal would not only put our freedom in jeopardy, but prepare society for even more darkness to descend upon it.

Let's be the light and remind our country that yes, conscience still matters, as well as our freedom.